The American Toilet Paper
I don’t remember how old I was. Maybe I was in grade 2nd or 3rd. But I know I was too young to do most things on my own without the help of my parents. Back in Riyadh, me and my family used to go to the American Embassy for Mass. There weren’t any churches in Saudi Arabia, so we had to go to the embassy since that is the only place in Saudi Arabia where no one can catch us practicing our religion.
As usual one day me and my family went for mass. Everything went on smoothly. The choir sang well. The priest gave a wonderful speech that I found boring (maybe I was too young to understand) and my parents found the speech very interesting. I saw everyone taking the host and took a sip of the wine from the cup (In US, the people gets the host from the priest and another person holds a cup with wine. All those who wants to have the host with wine can take a sip from the cup and this practice is not there in India).
“The mass has ended. You may all go in peace”. These were the last words spoken by the priest and then I guess I never wanted to go for a mass in an American Embassy or anything that relates to the Americans for just one reason.
I’m going to tell you what that reason is if you promise to keep my age or height or whatever it is in your mind before I tell you my reason. I mentioned before that I was too young to do most things on my own. So I was just a little boy and I need my mother by my side at all times.
Well, here goes…….
As soon as the mass ended I wanted to go to the rest room badly. That’s not a problem isn’t it? It’s a nature of a human being to dispose of whatever their eaten. There’s a rest room in every home, in every work place and it was easy to find the rest room.
HAAAAAAA!!! The best part of the American restrooms is that, they are so shinny, neat and don’t stink like our Indian restrooms and it’s air conditioned. I took all my time and my mother from the other side of the door was screaming at me to come out.
Once I was done I looked for a hose pipe. Ok… That’s not there. I looked for a bucket… Ok… that too wasn’t there. I looked for a bloody tap….. What the… Where is the… O my God…. How the hell was I going to wash? There was this fear in me as if I was sitting on a time bomb that was going to blow up any minute. Which bloody restroom that doesn’t have a hose pipe or a bucket or at least a tap? I started to scream for my mother. She got so scared and came running to the door and asked what happened? I told her the reason. I not sure if I heard it properly but I think my mother was laughing with her hands covering her mouth. She said she will get a bucket and a mug for me.
GOD bless mothers
I was inside a room that was the size of a telephone booth and it looked like hours since she finally showed up. She got a bucket with water and a mug. I was so happy to see a bucket with water inside it.
I was so glad once I opened the door and got out. I kept repeating these words, “Thank you ma. You saved me”.
Once inside the car I asked my mother,” Where did you get the bucket from”.
She said this as a joke and I believed her,” I ran to the Indian embassy and asked the ambassador for a bucket of water and he gave it to me”.
The Indian Embassy is like almost 45 minutes to reach from the American Embassy if I am to go by car. I think after five years or so I still remembered this unfortunate incident and I asked my mom did you actually go to the Indian embassy and asked the ambassador for a bucket of water.
She just laughed and laughed…
Posted on December 22, 2009, in Life Stories and tagged ambassador, American, bless, bucket, choir, cup, embassy, God, hose, host, Indian, joke, laughed, mass, Mother, pipe, priest, religion, Restroom, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, shinny, sip, tap, thankyou, Toilet, Toilet paper, water, wine. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.